Step into the Gap 2011 Blog: The Last One
1. Be invited to a wedding there (or anywhere!)
2. Witness the world’s longest (and slowest) bridal procession
3. Be on the beach on the first day
4. Dance in the streets of Gbarnga
5. Be forcibly ‘saved from drowning’ at Kpatawee waterfall
6. Be gowned
7. Be taken for crazy Scotsmen
8. Eat a meal consisting only of pineapple – by torchlight
9. Sleep in a bed that was wider than it was long
10. Take part in a Peace Parade
11. Lose count of the number of marriage proposals
12. Have a 62-year-old man call me ‘Mammy’
13. Learn about the toilet habits of four previous Presidents
14. Peel banana, peel peel banana, chop banana etc
15. Hear so many stories about ‘Spider’
16. See a shop called ‘United we Stand – Used Shoe Store’
17. Eat such tasty pineapple
18. See ‘Discuss Me’ painted on the back of a taxi
19. Go over so many bumps in four hours on the way to the Ivorian border (and back again)
20. Be so happy to see a ceiling fan
21. Eat so much Bangladeshi/Pakistani/Indian food
22. Master the snap handshake
23. Hear the dialogue: “How far is it?” “It far small.”
24. Wash my ‘tan’ off at the end of each day
25. Debate teenage pregnancy for half an hour live on the radio
26. Have to answer the question ‘How was your night?’ every morning
27. Greet the people with the sentence ‘How is it?’
28. or respond with the sentence ‘It’s very fine’
29. Talk so much about football
30. Start adding ‘oh’ to the end of words-oh
31. Eat sugar cane
32. and then chunder it back up
33. See a tarpaulin fall on an Archbishop
34. See a shop called ‘Amos the Famous Tailoring Shop’
35. Be renamed Marian Hawkins
36. Be renamed Jeff or Gary
37. Be renamed RB (pronounced Arrabee)
38. Have my name pronounced correctly every time!
39. Have ‘Chinee Man’ shouted at me
40. Have ‘Chinee Man Girl’ shouted at me
41. Have section within a section
42. Meet such a friendly bunch of American Peace Corps people learning to make peace gardens
43. Hear a story about a dog with a face like a shovel
44. Be mistaken for Becca’s mum
45. Visit a (possibly illicit) cane juice factory
46. Visit the grave of an ex-President
47. See a church that was dedicated in 1842
48. Have to learn the names of all the villages between Flumpa and Gblala (Blala, Glala, etc…)
49. Visit so many Master Artisans
50. Learn what a ‘Master Artisan’ actually is (mechanic, tailor, cook, cosmetologist)
51. Ditto ‘cosmetologist’
52. Meet the Treasurer of the Liberian Olympic Committee
53. Survive here for a month without eating any meat
54. Travel in a car with 17 other people
55. Visit a massacre site
56. Scramble down a waterfall
57. Spend so much time under a tree in the Lutheran Compound
58. Meet so many people who remember your name
59. Scare so many small children
60. Be a wig model
61. Hear the phrase “You can laugh till your sides lack”
62. Hear the phrase: “Steal like cats” (re: a wayward child and his friends)
63. Pay 300 Liberian dollars to get into the County Meet football final only for the President to declare it a ‘free gate’ an hour later
64. See stadium security handled by a bunch of kids in karate suits with sticks.
65. Eat so many eggs
66. Suffer the resulting stomach problems
67. See toilet roll processed down the aisle during the Offertory at Mass. Along with a bottle of bleach
68. Witness Climate Change brought to life in a torrential midnight downpour
69. And join the fight against it with our air conditioners
70. Be so humbled by the wonderful, dignified CAFOD partners we met.















